Last night at our house was Taco Night. How I didn’t adopt this tradition earlier in our married lives, I do not know. But I would like to send a huge shout-out to my FIF’s for telling me that Taco Night was a blessed event and that I needed to enjoy it- because it is, and I do.
My husband and I, unfortunately, have a little different view on what should be in a taco. He likes beef, I prefer chicken, but we are “OK” with eating the opposite. Cheese is a given of course, and we both prefer soft tacos to hard shells. Once in a while black beans are good as well. But that’s about where it stops.
I am very systematic about my tacos- I have a script that I like to follow to ensure that I don’t end up with a bite of just one ingredient. Yes, I am OCD that way. I lay my tortilla down on my plate, and put sour cream in a thick line down the middle. I think put a thin layer of rice, followed by cheese. Then, I put the meat on- why, do you ask? Because I like the cheese to be sandwiched between the hot rice and the hot meat, therefore melting it nicely so it doesn’t fall out. I then put on some sautéed onions and peppers (I have learned to sauté very few since hubs of course won’t eat them), and then I top it all off with a bit of mild salsa.
Now, wrapping is the key to a good taco experience. Sometimes I feel a bit lazy, and just roll it, turn it over so the flap stays wrapped, and use a fork to dig in. However, if I’m in a “eat with my hands” type of mood, there is a correct procedure to follow. First, you have to fold one end up a bit, to make a little pouch- stuffings falling out of the bottom of your roll definitely make for a BAD taco experience. After you make the pouch, fold one side over and tuck the edge under the ingredients, then bring the other side over to complete it. Then enjoy!
When I first introduced the idea of Taco Night to my husband, he was wary. Then when I made it one night, he was completely enamored. So enamored, in fact, that I suggested we could do Taco Night once a week. “No no,” he said, “That would probably be too much.” It wasn’t half way through the next week until he was asking what night we were doing tacos again. And since, Taco Night has been a weekly tradition.
This, my friends, just solidifies the fact that I know best. He just needs to accept it.
Thursday, February 25, 2010
Friday, February 19, 2010
FIF's
I like to say I’m a “wanna-be-computer-geek”- I truly am. I love anything technology related, and I love learning new things- I even taught myself Access over a summer for a work project. I will say, however, that although the idea of being able to program and use HTML and Java and whatnot appeals to me, I don’t think I could stand the isolation that type of work would bring.
In the last few years, my small techie mind has turned to social networking and Web 2.0 programs. In fact, those are things that are involved in my career on a daily basis. But the one private phenomenon that I never knew existed was a group of women that have become such a large part of my life, even though I’ve only met one of them in person. They are my FIF’s- my Freaky Internet Friends.
We all met on a wedding planning website, as soon-to-be brides getting married in August 2008. We all filtered into our date group throughout the year prior to August 2008, searching for advice on honeymoons or colors or “unique” ideas (of which there aren’t any, of course). The group of us soon realized, however, that we had one thing in common- most of us felt that we were planning a marriage, not just a wedding, and that some of the “SQEEEE!” details were just not that important. Unicorns and sparkly ribbon wands were just not our style. But we kept coming back because of our bond that somehow formed over weblines, and we developed into a group of friendships that has gotten even stronger since.
We have seen each other through learning to deal with new in-laws (or not), weddings, honeymoons, changing wedding dates, getting pregnant, miscarriages, having babies, having marriage troubles, lay-offs, moving, and any other number of things that seem to happen while you’re trying to live your life. Soon after our weddings we moved our collective to a private forum space and continue to speak with each other day after day. We call each other at times, text each other a lot, and always always check in with each other regularly. I truly have never had such a wonderful, caring group of friends that I look forward to communicating with each day. As women, we seek out touchstones in our lives, relationships that enlighten us and heal us and allow us to do the same. My FIF’s are some of the smartest, funniest, most beautiful women in the world, and I am proud to be let into each of their lives.
Thank you- your friendship makes me smile.
In the last few years, my small techie mind has turned to social networking and Web 2.0 programs. In fact, those are things that are involved in my career on a daily basis. But the one private phenomenon that I never knew existed was a group of women that have become such a large part of my life, even though I’ve only met one of them in person. They are my FIF’s- my Freaky Internet Friends.
We all met on a wedding planning website, as soon-to-be brides getting married in August 2008. We all filtered into our date group throughout the year prior to August 2008, searching for advice on honeymoons or colors or “unique” ideas (of which there aren’t any, of course). The group of us soon realized, however, that we had one thing in common- most of us felt that we were planning a marriage, not just a wedding, and that some of the “SQEEEE!” details were just not that important. Unicorns and sparkly ribbon wands were just not our style. But we kept coming back because of our bond that somehow formed over weblines, and we developed into a group of friendships that has gotten even stronger since.
We have seen each other through learning to deal with new in-laws (or not), weddings, honeymoons, changing wedding dates, getting pregnant, miscarriages, having babies, having marriage troubles, lay-offs, moving, and any other number of things that seem to happen while you’re trying to live your life. Soon after our weddings we moved our collective to a private forum space and continue to speak with each other day after day. We call each other at times, text each other a lot, and always always check in with each other regularly. I truly have never had such a wonderful, caring group of friends that I look forward to communicating with each day. As women, we seek out touchstones in our lives, relationships that enlighten us and heal us and allow us to do the same. My FIF’s are some of the smartest, funniest, most beautiful women in the world, and I am proud to be let into each of their lives.
Thank you- your friendship makes me smile.
Thursday, February 18, 2010
Recipe Hijacker
:stands up: Ahem (obligatory throat clear)
Hi, I’m the Unintentional Career Woman, and I’m :gulp: a recipe hijacker. WHEW! Feels good to let that out.
I am a recipe hijacker, though, but it’s a relatively new thing for me. Not that I’ve never cooked- I have. I started cooking early on, actually. But recently I’ve found a new spunk for it- thanks to the Food Network and The Pioneer Woman.
So why am I a recipe hijacker? I love to get new recipes and follow them, but I rarely follow them to the letter. For many reasons I choose to change ingredients or amounts- maybe I don’t have the exact ingredients called for so I find something I think will work. Or maybe the recipe calls for something healthy and vegetable-y that my husband is SURE to not eat, so I either take that out or again substitute something else in its place.
So once in a while I will share a recipe with you that I hijack and make a la' me, and let you know how it turned out. I’ll tell you what I used in my recipe, and what I should have used if I didn’t like my choice and want to save you the horrid embarrassment of your family hiding it in the napkin or feeding it to the dog. We’ll start out with The Pioneer Woman’s meatloaf, which I made last night, and probably would have been a lot better with her exact recipe. You can find the original recipe here.
My version:
1 ½ lbs. of ground turkey (I’m a beef lover, but this is what I had in the fridge)
1 cup of milk (I should have only used about ½ cup)
4 slices of potato bread (don’t think I’d use the potato bread again, and this was too much bread for the amount of turkey I used)
Thick sliced bacon (yum- don’t forget this ingredient)
Black pepper
Seasoned Salt (like Lowry’s- I love this stuff)
Shredded Sharp Cheddar Cheese
4 eggs (again, too much for the amount of meat- maybe needed 2 or 3)
Sauce:
About 1 cup of ketchup
2 tsps. Herlocher’s Dipping Mustard
About a tsp. of brown sugar
Put the bread in a bowl and pour the milk over it- let it soak for a few minutes.
Then combine the bread (try to squeeze out some of the milk- mine got a bit runny), meat, seasonings, cheese, and eggs and mix together. Form the mixture into a loaf shape on a broiler pan (use a pan with a rack- the fat and grease will run off of it and make it much better). Lay strips of bacon across the top of the loaf, tucking the ends under the loaf on each side.
Combine the ingredients for the sauce and mix until it’s smooth. Spread about 1/3 of the sauce mixture onto the top of the meatloaf and put the rest in the fridge to use later. Bake at 350° for about 45 minutes. Then spread another 1/3 of the sauce mixture onto the top, and bake for another 15 minutes. Let the meat sit for a few minutes, then cut and enjoy with some mashed potatoes and veggies! Serve the last 1/3 of the sauce mixture on the side for dipping.
My observations:
The flavor of the dish was really good- better than I expected it to be. The meatloaf mixture itself was a bit thinned out, which is why I stated the above suggestions to my amounts of ingredients. The sauce was AWESOME- I cannot tell you how much I loved the sauce. Even my husband raved about it, and the only condiment he eats is bar-b-q sauce.
Also- the bacon didn’t crisp up on the top, which I thought of a couple of reasons to explain. First- I might put the sauce on top of the meat, and THEN layer on the bacon so that it would be exposed. I also might use the broiler for a bit after it was cooked to brown and crisp up the top before taking it out of the oven.
Overall, it was a success, but I would definitely make some changes to it next time. Oh- and unless you want to be eating leftovers for 3 days afterward- make it when at least 4 people will be eating dinner.
Hi, I’m the Unintentional Career Woman, and I’m :gulp: a recipe hijacker. WHEW! Feels good to let that out.
I am a recipe hijacker, though, but it’s a relatively new thing for me. Not that I’ve never cooked- I have. I started cooking early on, actually. But recently I’ve found a new spunk for it- thanks to the Food Network and The Pioneer Woman.
So why am I a recipe hijacker? I love to get new recipes and follow them, but I rarely follow them to the letter. For many reasons I choose to change ingredients or amounts- maybe I don’t have the exact ingredients called for so I find something I think will work. Or maybe the recipe calls for something healthy and vegetable-y that my husband is SURE to not eat, so I either take that out or again substitute something else in its place.
So once in a while I will share a recipe with you that I hijack and make a la' me, and let you know how it turned out. I’ll tell you what I used in my recipe, and what I should have used if I didn’t like my choice and want to save you the horrid embarrassment of your family hiding it in the napkin or feeding it to the dog. We’ll start out with The Pioneer Woman’s meatloaf, which I made last night, and probably would have been a lot better with her exact recipe. You can find the original recipe here.
My version:
1 ½ lbs. of ground turkey (I’m a beef lover, but this is what I had in the fridge)
1 cup of milk (I should have only used about ½ cup)
4 slices of potato bread (don’t think I’d use the potato bread again, and this was too much bread for the amount of turkey I used)
Thick sliced bacon (yum- don’t forget this ingredient)
Black pepper
Seasoned Salt (like Lowry’s- I love this stuff)
Shredded Sharp Cheddar Cheese
4 eggs (again, too much for the amount of meat- maybe needed 2 or 3)
Sauce:
About 1 cup of ketchup
2 tsps. Herlocher’s Dipping Mustard
About a tsp. of brown sugar
Put the bread in a bowl and pour the milk over it- let it soak for a few minutes.
Then combine the bread (try to squeeze out some of the milk- mine got a bit runny), meat, seasonings, cheese, and eggs and mix together. Form the mixture into a loaf shape on a broiler pan (use a pan with a rack- the fat and grease will run off of it and make it much better). Lay strips of bacon across the top of the loaf, tucking the ends under the loaf on each side.
Combine the ingredients for the sauce and mix until it’s smooth. Spread about 1/3 of the sauce mixture onto the top of the meatloaf and put the rest in the fridge to use later. Bake at 350° for about 45 minutes. Then spread another 1/3 of the sauce mixture onto the top, and bake for another 15 minutes. Let the meat sit for a few minutes, then cut and enjoy with some mashed potatoes and veggies! Serve the last 1/3 of the sauce mixture on the side for dipping.
My observations:
The flavor of the dish was really good- better than I expected it to be. The meatloaf mixture itself was a bit thinned out, which is why I stated the above suggestions to my amounts of ingredients. The sauce was AWESOME- I cannot tell you how much I loved the sauce. Even my husband raved about it, and the only condiment he eats is bar-b-q sauce.
Also- the bacon didn’t crisp up on the top, which I thought of a couple of reasons to explain. First- I might put the sauce on top of the meat, and THEN layer on the bacon so that it would be exposed. I also might use the broiler for a bit after it was cooked to brown and crisp up the top before taking it out of the oven.
Overall, it was a success, but I would definitely make some changes to it next time. Oh- and unless you want to be eating leftovers for 3 days afterward- make it when at least 4 people will be eating dinner.
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
Happy Birthday Dad
Happy Birthday Dad.
Today was your birthday. Unfortunately, one year ago, it was also the day that we lost you, although the death certificate will state a month later. We miss you so much- our lives have a hole in them that can’t be filled. A void that will always be there. A heartache that will never truly heal, although they say it lessens over time.
I know you’re watching over us every day, and I know that Cora has the best guardian angel ever. I know you’ve talked with her- in fact, I believe that you were the first one to get to see her or talk to her, even before she was born. You were with us in the delivery room, making sure that the complications that arose didn’t put her in danger. She seems to have an affinity for men with beards… we whole-heartedly think that is because she’s seen you with one, and knows that they aren’t scary. Her grandpa has one after all!
You taught me so much throughout my life Dad, and I am grateful for every single lesson. I hope that through the years I was able to show you how much I appreciated you and loved you. I hope that was not something that you left this life wondering. Here are just a few things that I am grateful for from you:
My blue eyes and my curly hair.
My chipmunk cheeks.
You taught me how to ride a motorcycle, although at one point I thought I was too girly to do it.
You taught me how to use my hands to build things. How to use a hammer, a drill, a saw, and “righty tighty, lefty loosy”.
You taught me how to not sweat the small things. Although I didn’t know how to earlier in life, I am proud to say that I now practice this as a lesson learned.
You taught me how important family is, and to not let arguments and disagreements make me forget this.
You taught me how to pack a U-haul, and how to move as efficiently as possible, which came in handy when you helped me move more times than I care to count.
You taught me how to mow the lawn, use an edger, shovel the snow, and paint anything.
But most of all, Dad, you taught me how to feel love from a family, and how to hug and say, “I love you”, without being embarrassed. You were a light in our lives that we won’t be able to replace. But even now we can still feel the warmth from it, from above.
I love you.
Monday, February 15, 2010
See what you get...
Here's an interesting social experiment for you. The next time you're leaving work, or the grocery store, or some random building, take a few minutes and stand just inside the door like you're waiting on a ride. Look every person that walks past you in the face- not with dagger eyes or a smirk, but a little smile. And see what you get.
Most people in this world want some type of human interaction, and of course they want POSITIVE interaction. I love to do nice things (even say Good Morning or Have A Nice Day) to people that I don't know. Responses are pretty note-worthy!
In this little experiment, you'll probably see that most people make some type of verbal communication with you first. But only because you opened your demeanor to accept it. Friendly gestures, no matter how small, are typically appreciated and reciprocated.
As I was doing this tonite after work (I actually was waiting for a ride from my husband), I got all types of responses. I work in a building with the 2-door system, so I was standing between the two, watching for my ride, and looking at each person that passed. I would give a small close-lipped smile, and they would respond in some manner in most cases.
There was the woman looking at the snow outside, who said, "Wow- ummm, I don't know. I just don't know.". Well, I don't know what you don't know, but I'm glad you know you don't know it.
Then there was the two young men who were deep in conversation, who glanced at me briefly before heading just OUTSIDE the doors to continue what they were discussing. One flashed me a half-sided smile, the other simply kept going, but both kept looking back as they were outside, no doubt thinking, "Women! They can't drive at all."
Most people, however, smiled and said, "Have a good evening", or some other short greeting.
I always find it interesting how people react when you initiate interaction in a friendly manner. Too many times in today's world, people seem to be jaded or hesitant in public when they are by themselves. But my contention is that I can hopefully change a bit of that (albeit a VERY tiny pin prick bit) by simply showing kindness first.
Try it- you might get something out of it. Or better yet- maybe someone else will.
Most people in this world want some type of human interaction, and of course they want POSITIVE interaction. I love to do nice things (even say Good Morning or Have A Nice Day) to people that I don't know. Responses are pretty note-worthy!
In this little experiment, you'll probably see that most people make some type of verbal communication with you first. But only because you opened your demeanor to accept it. Friendly gestures, no matter how small, are typically appreciated and reciprocated.
As I was doing this tonite after work (I actually was waiting for a ride from my husband), I got all types of responses. I work in a building with the 2-door system, so I was standing between the two, watching for my ride, and looking at each person that passed. I would give a small close-lipped smile, and they would respond in some manner in most cases.
There was the woman looking at the snow outside, who said, "Wow- ummm, I don't know. I just don't know.". Well, I don't know what you don't know, but I'm glad you know you don't know it.
Then there was the two young men who were deep in conversation, who glanced at me briefly before heading just OUTSIDE the doors to continue what they were discussing. One flashed me a half-sided smile, the other simply kept going, but both kept looking back as they were outside, no doubt thinking, "Women! They can't drive at all."
Most people, however, smiled and said, "Have a good evening", or some other short greeting.
I always find it interesting how people react when you initiate interaction in a friendly manner. Too many times in today's world, people seem to be jaded or hesitant in public when they are by themselves. But my contention is that I can hopefully change a bit of that (albeit a VERY tiny pin prick bit) by simply showing kindness first.
Try it- you might get something out of it. Or better yet- maybe someone else will.
Saturday, February 13, 2010
Little Blessings
As I go throughout my life, I've always had the ability to see little blessings- small things throughout the day that make me stop and think, "Wow- thank you for that". As I sit here on my couch with my little family on a Saturday morning, watching HGTV and smiling inside and out, I'm struck with the urge to share with you some of the things in my world that make me thankful.
Quiet times with my daughter lying on my lap, with her head resting on my chest.
Going into my daughter's room in the morning to see her peeking out from under her covers, smiling at me.
My husband coming home every night to be with us, because he can't think of anything he'd be more happy to do.
The sun rising over the mountains as I drive to work in the morning, peaking out to tell me good morning.
The perfect song coming on the radio when I'm needing a little inspiration, or laugh, or levity.
Friends who like to go out to dinner.
Tuesday dinner and drinks with my best friend.
Pictures of my Dad hanging in my daughter's room, so she'll know that her grandfather is her guardian angel watching over her.
Ducky feet baby pajamas.
The ability to leave work on time most of the time, so I can get home to my family.
FIF's.
Kitty hugs and the warmth that you feel when they are curled up at your feet.
The car that pulls out in front of you, going slow, making YOU slow down, just 2 blocks before you pass a cop.
Waking up to the sound of birds singing, signaling spring.
A slight breeze just when you're thinking it's pretty darn hot outside.
Patio furniture on a beautiful Pennsylvania summer morning.
Small things pop up in your life all the time- but they just slip away from your attention if you aren't in tune to them. I think the blessings that are sent my way deserve a quiet "Thank You", and always look up to say one. See what you can find throughout your day- smile, be grateful, and always feel blessed.
Quiet times with my daughter lying on my lap, with her head resting on my chest.
Going into my daughter's room in the morning to see her peeking out from under her covers, smiling at me.
My husband coming home every night to be with us, because he can't think of anything he'd be more happy to do.
The sun rising over the mountains as I drive to work in the morning, peaking out to tell me good morning.
The perfect song coming on the radio when I'm needing a little inspiration, or laugh, or levity.
Friends who like to go out to dinner.
Tuesday dinner and drinks with my best friend.
Pictures of my Dad hanging in my daughter's room, so she'll know that her grandfather is her guardian angel watching over her.
Ducky feet baby pajamas.
The ability to leave work on time most of the time, so I can get home to my family.
FIF's.
Kitty hugs and the warmth that you feel when they are curled up at your feet.
The car that pulls out in front of you, going slow, making YOU slow down, just 2 blocks before you pass a cop.
Waking up to the sound of birds singing, signaling spring.
A slight breeze just when you're thinking it's pretty darn hot outside.
Patio furniture on a beautiful Pennsylvania summer morning.
Small things pop up in your life all the time- but they just slip away from your attention if you aren't in tune to them. I think the blessings that are sent my way deserve a quiet "Thank You", and always look up to say one. See what you can find throughout your day- smile, be grateful, and always feel blessed.
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
Why "Unintentional"?
Thanks for coming back. You might be asking yourself... "Why unintentional?" Well, I'll tell you. Right after a story.
Way back in the 80's (for those of you that are agely-challenged, that's the era BEFORE Kurt Cobain), this would-be-blogger was busy trying to make herself into something she wasn't. Not knowing WHAT she was, however, seemed to cloud the issue. So, I ask you, what was popular? The career woman. That strong, confident, beautiful woman with her short-skirt-suit, pulled back hair, and attitude bigger than Dallas, fully meaning to break through that glass ceiling without a scratch. I was, as they say, determined to conquer it all. Fashion was the name of my game, and I intended to make sure that I used my creativity in a way that would afford me trips to exotic places, meetings with wonderfully fashionable people, and a high-rise that sat in New York City waiting for me to come home to. Oh yeah- and great shoes at a discount.
That, however, is where it ended. After the dream. As my former adviser called it, Fashion Merchandising was the major for the "woefully uninformed". We all thought we'd be glamorous and fantastic... we ended up as an Assistant Manager at a decent retail outlet with only the goal of moving into a manager position looming in front of us. Not... cool.
After suffering the time period of my life I now call "the emotional desert" (notice there is only one "s"), I ended up going back to school for a graduate degree. Some soul searching later, I ended up in a career that my life acquaintances call "a natural match" for me. A counselor. And I am still on that career path today. It wasn't easy to switch tracks in such a big way, but my supposed career mind wouldn't allow me to see anything but those tracks.
Now, for the "unintentional" part. Throughout this time of determining and reforming myself, deep down I didn't care that much about any of it. I figured I was supposed to work toward a goal, and quite honestly- it mostly came easy to me. I was on a CAREER PATH (if there was a certain TA-DAH! font to use on that I would), and since nothing in my personal life was really going well, dammit, I was going to make my professional life my only priority. And it worked.
I had no personal life. I denied the fact that I wanted one, even to myself sometimes. I was not happy with my looks, and as women that seems to be paramount sometimes in determining our self-worth. And here's where experts seem to get it wrong... "self esteem" is not an overarching constant- it is not at the same level across your life. I was able to be pretty confident in my professional life, while being content to let my personal life wither away. In other words (and here's the moral of the story), I put all of my energy into my career because I did not have the confidence to put any into personal matters and relationships.
And it worked! For a while. Funny thing about success in only one area of your life though- eventually the part you've been suppressing leaks out and demands attention. Your psyche no longer forgets that there's a hole there- a need arises in your soul to start evening the playing field.
Eventually, I did- but after stumbling quite a few times. As you'll read in my "Late Bloomer Diaries" coming soon, life showed me a door and I finally walked through it. It brought me more frustration and heartache than I ever wanted, and eventually it also brought me more happiness than I ever thought possible. But the thing that I had put in motion so many years ago, my career, is still demanding attention and motivation and WORK!
But wait! I say. I never really cared about this! I always just wanted this wonderful love and family and personally fulfilling life- I was never really a climber! I don't even care if there IS a glass ceiling!
However, it's not in my poker hand to be able to concentrate solely on that one facet. I have a good career, that I mostly enjoy, and a wonderful husband and daughter that make life worth living. I am a Career Mom, for better or worse, and these musings are some of the trials and tribulations that I encounter while trying to find the balance I crave between the two.
Way back in the 80's (for those of you that are agely-challenged, that's the era BEFORE Kurt Cobain), this would-be-blogger was busy trying to make herself into something she wasn't. Not knowing WHAT she was, however, seemed to cloud the issue. So, I ask you, what was popular? The career woman. That strong, confident, beautiful woman with her short-skirt-suit, pulled back hair, and attitude bigger than Dallas, fully meaning to break through that glass ceiling without a scratch. I was, as they say, determined to conquer it all. Fashion was the name of my game, and I intended to make sure that I used my creativity in a way that would afford me trips to exotic places, meetings with wonderfully fashionable people, and a high-rise that sat in New York City waiting for me to come home to. Oh yeah- and great shoes at a discount.
That, however, is where it ended. After the dream. As my former adviser called it, Fashion Merchandising was the major for the "woefully uninformed". We all thought we'd be glamorous and fantastic... we ended up as an Assistant Manager at a decent retail outlet with only the goal of moving into a manager position looming in front of us. Not... cool.
After suffering the time period of my life I now call "the emotional desert" (notice there is only one "s"), I ended up going back to school for a graduate degree. Some soul searching later, I ended up in a career that my life acquaintances call "a natural match" for me. A counselor. And I am still on that career path today. It wasn't easy to switch tracks in such a big way, but my supposed career mind wouldn't allow me to see anything but those tracks.
Now, for the "unintentional" part. Throughout this time of determining and reforming myself, deep down I didn't care that much about any of it. I figured I was supposed to work toward a goal, and quite honestly- it mostly came easy to me. I was on a CAREER PATH (if there was a certain TA-DAH! font to use on that I would), and since nothing in my personal life was really going well, dammit, I was going to make my professional life my only priority. And it worked.
I had no personal life. I denied the fact that I wanted one, even to myself sometimes. I was not happy with my looks, and as women that seems to be paramount sometimes in determining our self-worth. And here's where experts seem to get it wrong... "self esteem" is not an overarching constant- it is not at the same level across your life. I was able to be pretty confident in my professional life, while being content to let my personal life wither away. In other words (and here's the moral of the story), I put all of my energy into my career because I did not have the confidence to put any into personal matters and relationships.
And it worked! For a while. Funny thing about success in only one area of your life though- eventually the part you've been suppressing leaks out and demands attention. Your psyche no longer forgets that there's a hole there- a need arises in your soul to start evening the playing field.
Eventually, I did- but after stumbling quite a few times. As you'll read in my "Late Bloomer Diaries" coming soon, life showed me a door and I finally walked through it. It brought me more frustration and heartache than I ever wanted, and eventually it also brought me more happiness than I ever thought possible. But the thing that I had put in motion so many years ago, my career, is still demanding attention and motivation and WORK!
But wait! I say. I never really cared about this! I always just wanted this wonderful love and family and personally fulfilling life- I was never really a climber! I don't even care if there IS a glass ceiling!
However, it's not in my poker hand to be able to concentrate solely on that one facet. I have a good career, that I mostly enjoy, and a wonderful husband and daughter that make life worth living. I am a Career Mom, for better or worse, and these musings are some of the trials and tribulations that I encounter while trying to find the balance I crave between the two.
Monday, February 8, 2010
Bonjour!
Welcome to my blog of musings on family, love, career, and other whatnots that happen when you're trying to live your life. I'd like to tell you that I'll post some life-changing mantras or worldly important information, but to be honest... I'm just me, and I'm just not that. Life-changing and worldly important, that is.
However, I can promise you that I will entertain you to the best of my ability with my sarcasm, wit, and smart-ass-to-my-detriment attitude. Oh, and I will of course post some of the cutest pictures of the cutest baby you have ever seen... on this blog, anyway. CC is my 8-month old little angel with the biggest, baddest, most awesome stubborn girl attitude you have ever seen. That's right folks- if she keeps this up, there will be no reason for her father and I to worry about her. We will, however, pray for the person that falls in love with her when she's older. Much older. Or she'll be grounded.
I'll also be posting some tidbits from a manuscript I've been working on for many years entitled, "Late Bloomers". If you've ever had a life-changing event a little later in life than you would have liked, one that affected you right down to your very being, you'll hopefully relate.
So enjoy! Or don't. Whatever.
But please enjoy!
However, I can promise you that I will entertain you to the best of my ability with my sarcasm, wit, and smart-ass-to-my-detriment attitude. Oh, and I will of course post some of the cutest pictures of the cutest baby you have ever seen... on this blog, anyway. CC is my 8-month old little angel with the biggest, baddest, most awesome stubborn girl attitude you have ever seen. That's right folks- if she keeps this up, there will be no reason for her father and I to worry about her. We will, however, pray for the person that falls in love with her when she's older. Much older. Or she'll be grounded.
I'll also be posting some tidbits from a manuscript I've been working on for many years entitled, "Late Bloomers". If you've ever had a life-changing event a little later in life than you would have liked, one that affected you right down to your very being, you'll hopefully relate.
So enjoy! Or don't. Whatever.
But please enjoy!
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