See what you get...

Here's an interesting social experiment for you. The next time you're leaving work, or the grocery store, or some random building, take a few minutes and stand just inside the door like you're waiting on a ride. Look every person that walks past you in the face- not with dagger eyes or a smirk, but a little smile. And see what you get.

Most people in this world want some type of human interaction, and of course they want POSITIVE interaction. I love to do nice things (even say Good Morning or Have A Nice Day) to people that I don't know. Responses are pretty note-worthy!

In this little experiment, you'll probably see that most people make some type of verbal communication with you first. But only because you opened your demeanor to accept it. Friendly gestures, no matter how small, are typically appreciated and reciprocated.

As I was doing this tonite after work (I actually was waiting for a ride from my husband), I got all types of responses. I work in a building with the 2-door system, so I was standing between the two, watching for my ride, and looking at each person that passed. I would give a small close-lipped smile, and they would respond in some manner in most cases.

There was the woman looking at the snow outside, who said, "Wow- ummm, I don't know. I just don't know.". Well, I don't know what you don't know, but I'm glad you know you don't know it.

Then there was the two young men who were deep in conversation, who glanced at me briefly before heading just OUTSIDE the doors to continue what they were discussing. One flashed me a half-sided smile, the other simply kept going, but both kept looking back as they were outside, no doubt thinking, "Women! They can't drive at all."

Most people, however, smiled and said, "Have a good evening", or some other short greeting.

I always find it interesting how people react when you initiate interaction in a friendly manner. Too many times in today's world, people seem to be jaded or hesitant in public when they are by themselves. But my contention is that I can hopefully change a bit of that (albeit a VERY tiny pin prick bit) by simply showing kindness first.

Try it- you might get something out of it. Or better yet- maybe someone else will.

Little Blessings

As I go throughout my life, I've always had the ability to see little blessings- small things throughout the day that make me stop and think, "Wow- thank you for that". As I sit here on my couch with my little family on a Saturday morning, watching HGTV and smiling inside and out, I'm struck with the urge to share with you some of the things in my world that make me thankful.

Quiet times with my daughter lying on my lap, with her head resting on my chest.

Going into my daughter's room in the morning to see her peeking out from under her covers, smiling at me.

My husband coming home every night to be with us, because he can't think of anything he'd be more happy to do.

The sun rising over the mountains as I drive to work in the morning, peaking out to tell me good morning.

The perfect song coming on the radio when I'm needing a little inspiration, or laugh, or levity.

Friends who like to go out to dinner.

Tuesday dinner and drinks with my best friend.

Pictures of my Dad hanging in my daughter's room, so she'll know that her grandfather is her guardian angel watching over her.

Ducky feet baby pajamas.

The ability to leave work on time most of the time, so I can get home to my family.

FIF's.

Kitty hugs and the warmth that you feel when they are curled up at your feet.

The car that pulls out in front of you, going slow, making YOU slow down, just 2 blocks before you pass a cop.

Waking up to the sound of birds singing, signaling spring.

A slight breeze just when you're thinking it's pretty darn hot outside.

Patio furniture on a beautiful Pennsylvania summer morning.

Small things pop up in your life all the time- but they just slip away from your attention if you aren't in tune to them. I think the blessings that are sent my way deserve a quiet "Thank You", and always look up to say one. See what you can find throughout your day- smile, be grateful, and always feel blessed.

Why "Unintentional"?

Thanks for coming back. You might be asking yourself... "Why unintentional?" Well, I'll tell you. Right after a story.

Way back in the 80's (for those of you that are agely-challenged, that's the era BEFORE Kurt Cobain), this would-be-blogger was busy trying to make herself into something she wasn't. Not knowing WHAT she was, however, seemed to cloud the issue. So, I ask you, what was popular? The career woman. That strong, confident, beautiful woman with her short-skirt-suit, pulled back hair, and attitude bigger than Dallas, fully meaning to break through that glass ceiling without a scratch. I was, as they say, determined to conquer it all. Fashion was the name of my game, and I intended to make sure that I used my creativity in a way that would afford me trips to exotic places, meetings with wonderfully fashionable people, and a high-rise that sat in New York City waiting for me to come home to. Oh yeah- and great shoes at a discount.

That, however, is where it ended. After the dream. As my former adviser called it, Fashion Merchandising was the major for the "woefully uninformed". We all thought we'd be glamorous and fantastic... we ended up as an Assistant Manager at a decent retail outlet with only the goal of moving into a manager position looming in front of us. Not... cool.

After suffering the time period of my life I now call "the emotional desert" (notice there is only one "s"), I ended up going back to school for a graduate degree. Some soul searching later, I ended up in a career that my life acquaintances call "a natural match" for me. A counselor. And I am still on that career path today. It wasn't easy to switch tracks in such a big way, but my supposed career mind wouldn't allow me to see anything but those tracks.

Now, for the "unintentional" part. Throughout this time of determining and reforming myself, deep down I didn't care that much about any of it. I figured I was supposed to work toward a goal, and quite honestly- it mostly came easy to me. I was on a CAREER PATH (if there was a certain TA-DAH! font to use on that I would), and since nothing in my personal life was really going well, dammit, I was going to make my professional life my only priority. And it worked.

I had no personal life. I denied the fact that I wanted one, even to myself sometimes. I was not happy with my looks, and as women that seems to be paramount sometimes in determining our self-worth. And here's where experts seem to get it wrong... "self esteem" is not an overarching constant- it is not at the same level across your life. I was able to be pretty confident in my professional life, while being content to let my personal life wither away. In other words (and here's the moral of the story), I put all of my energy into my career because I did not have the confidence to put any into personal matters and relationships.

And it worked! For a while. Funny thing about success in only one area of your life though- eventually the part you've been suppressing leaks out and demands attention. Your psyche no longer forgets that there's a hole there- a need arises in your soul to start evening the playing field.

Eventually, I did- but after stumbling quite a few times. As you'll read in my "Late Bloomer Diaries" coming soon, life showed me a door and I finally walked through it. It brought me more frustration and heartache than I ever wanted, and eventually it also brought me more happiness than I ever thought possible. But the thing that I had put in motion so many years ago, my career, is still demanding attention and motivation and WORK!

But wait! I say. I never really cared about this! I always just wanted this wonderful love and family and personally fulfilling life- I was never really a climber! I don't even care if there IS a glass ceiling!

However, it's not in my poker hand to be able to concentrate solely on that one facet. I have a good career, that I mostly enjoy, and a wonderful husband and daughter that make life worth living. I am a Career Mom, for better or worse, and these musings are some of the trials and tribulations that I encounter while trying to find the balance I crave between the two.

Bonjour!

Welcome to my blog of musings on family, love, career, and other whatnots that happen when you're trying to live your life. I'd like to tell you that I'll post some life-changing mantras or worldly important information, but to be honest... I'm just me, and I'm just not that. Life-changing and worldly important, that is.



However, I can promise you that I will entertain you to the best of my ability with my sarcasm, wit, and smart-ass-to-my-detriment attitude. Oh, and I will of course post some of the cutest pictures of the cutest baby you have ever seen... on this blog, anyway. CC is my 8-month old little angel with the biggest, baddest, most awesome stubborn girl attitude you have ever seen. That's right folks- if she keeps this up, there will be no reason for her father and I to worry about her. We will, however, pray for the person that falls in love with her when she's older. Much older. Or she'll be grounded.



I'll also be posting some tidbits from a manuscript I've been working on for many years entitled, "Late Bloomers". If you've ever had a life-changing event a little later in life than you would have liked, one that affected you right down to your very being, you'll hopefully relate.



So enjoy! Or don't. Whatever.



But please enjoy!